I think they are just saying this to avoid putting in any effort to solve your problem. It’s easier to blame another party rather than help you solve the issue.
Start with the most basic low level stuff, being to determine if its your hosting thats experiencing downtime due to their servers rebooting, or maybe Apache or MySQL loss of service. Or to determine if its downtime caused by Joomla.
To determine above, you could setup a cURL script that will probe your Origin directly (bypassing Cloudflare) to hit a simple test.txt file (doesn’t use Joomla), and the home page of your site (which uses Joomla). Run it in a loop every few seconds and log the results.
If you find that the probing completely fails during those downtime you’ve been experiencing then its likely your Origin server is going offline, or experiencing a loss of service on Apache.
If you find that the probing continues to work fine on test.txt but fails on the home page of your site then it narrows down the diagnostics a bit more. It’s then either an issue with something in Joomla or a loss of service on MySQL (or equivalent DB service).
If your using Cloudflare
then hits should not be going directly to your Origin server. You might have a misconfiguration on Cloudflare such as an unproxied record for www but proxied for apex. Or you might indeed be getting attacked or having excessive bot hits to your Origin.
This may or may not be related to the frequent downtime issue you mentioned. If your hosting resources are being overwhelmed by these hits thats causing downtime then yes, but “thousands” of hits shouldn’t be a problem that would cause your site to crash and experience downtime.
If your host provides SSH access then login and run the “top” command. Keep an eye on that.
If these bot attacks are overwhelming your Joomla then you can request an IP change and/or lockdown your server to prevent anything but Cloudflare from communicating with it. If you do get an IP change then make sure you don’t leak your origin IP again through misconfigurations on Cloudflare.
I’m not sure how tech savvy you are so hopefully you can follow what I said above, if you need additional help or clarification, just ask.